12:30pm I would consider myself a high energy individual, which really sounds contradictory to the purpose of my journey. That I am in this challenge to get my energy back, lead a healthier and more fit lifestyle. Fitness & health have never been a priority in my life, so when I blog about feeling depleted of energy, it is because the energy I have is synthetic. Chemically induced and unnatural.
I have always worked high energy jobs, multi-tasking, go go go GO!!!!
To give you insight on my personality, I work well at these jobs because that is how my mind works. Imagine working a job that provides such an adrenalyn rush... where your mind has to be in so many places at once. My jobs to date have been mostly working in restaurants as a 'server', so when I think back now, I can see why I got restless working in retail. I was fine working customer service, and in store recovery but as soon as they stuck me into the fitting room area, I needed out. It was like a prison cell. I hated that there wasn't enough urgence, no need, no fast pace. All I had were my own thoughts bouncing around endless corners of my mind. I felt like I was going nuts. It's no wonder why I find my home daycare so satisfying. There is always something to do, and my mind is always doing two things at once.
It is my strength, but also my weakness as well. At home I have a hard time focusing and completing tasks. There are always clothes that I have forgotten in the washing machine, cupboard doors/drawers that I may have left open, consistently I forget and misplace things. I do so in my need to multi-task, moving from one thing to the next in a mindless bid to get things done but it seems to be taking on a reverse effect.
This energy... this go go go, forgetful, mind bouncing, task juggling behavior may be a side effect of something greater. Think about that for a moment. Is it possible that what I eat may be affecting other areas of my life, causing a snowball effect. It builds, builds and builds and suddenly you don't know exactly how it got to be so big, so quickly.
I don't feel like I need to defend my challenge in anyway. The results will speak for it's self. If I could commit atleast 90 days to my health... 90 days!! That's not even 1/3 of an entire pregnancy. It's funny how most would do it in a heart beat for a baby, but why not for yourself?
I want my energy to come from being healthy, eating the right foods, and taking care of my body. Not from chemical or processed foods that toss my energy back and forth between feeling good and feeling like crap. I need some balance in my life.
9:30pm I took the advice of friend and raided my cupboards today with Dave, and together we got rid of all the lolipops, and chocolate left over from Easter. It was an emergency stash, kind of like a security blanket, if I got desperate. I am glad it's gone, one less temptation to worry about.
It was a good day as far as not snacking the entire day. I came up with a system to curb the hunger or boredom, whichever it is that makes me feel like a bottomless pit. This morning I washed a bowl of grapes that I kept out on the counter along with a large glass of water. Each time I found myself at the fridge, I drank a glass of water and ate one grape. Going through the motion of chewing on the grape seemed to work, atleast for today.
P.S
It it is 9:35pm... and I did not eat any icecream today.
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